[26 Jan 2006|08:44pm] let me tell you what, mr. gomez. if i am a liar, then what are you? don't treat me as if you don't lie. 1 comment|post comment

[23 Jan 2006|08:18pm] surprisingly, it's getting easier to deal with the shit he pulls. post comment

[22 Jan 2006|07:07pm] the lows are so extreem that the good seems fucking CHEAP. and it teases you for weeks in it's absence. sitting in a hot bath while the water turns cold while you aren't looking. post comment

[16 Jan 2006|04:44pm] These are supposedly 27 questions that no one would EVER think to ask. Answer them 1. When u looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? i need to wash my hair 2. How much cash do you have on you?: .25 cents 3. What's a word that rhymes with "DOOR" feel free to change it. bore 4. Favorite planet? earth 5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? my step father 6. What is your favorite ring on your phone? toxic 7. What shirt are you wearing? a teal "micro-chain mail" v neck by to the max 8. Do you label yourself? no 9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing: none 10. Bright or Dark Room? bright i like to know what the fuck i'm about to step on 11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before u? i don't know them 13. What were you doing at midnight last night? sleeping, sadly enough 14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say? we're eating at emerils at 6:30 bitch wake up 15. Where is your nearest 7-11? they don't have them here. 16. What's a word that you say a lot? fuck 17.Who told you they loved you last? josue 18. Last furry thing you touched? snowman and bandit 19. How Many Drugs Have You Done In The Past three Days? zero 20. How many roles of film do u need to get developed? probably 7 21. Favorite age you have been so far? 18 but i haven't experienced it yet. 22. Your worst enemy? i don't know..you? 23. What is your current desktop picture? winter 24. What was the last thing you said to someone? and how is that his fault? bye 25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be? million dollars 26.Do you like someone? true that 27. The last song you listened to? bullett proof by rilo kiley 1 comment|post comment

[12 Jan 2006|08:18pm] today was the biggest dissapointment. i thought it would help us, but he thought they were push overs. thanks post comment

[10 Jan 2006|08:40pm] i have the worst headache post comment

[05 Jan 2006|09:12pm] scott just made my night. my ipod was stolen and so until i can afford a new one scott hooked me up with a one gig sony player. i'm so happy. and i get paid tomorrow and i'm going to go get the cannon rebel slr. asjndgln that woman deserves to be in jail. post comment

[03 Jan 2006|10:01pm] new years resolution for 2006. -graduate with honors. -get into state. -make things perfect. -RUIN terry elizabeth feick-funcher's life. -grow up post comment

[03 Jan 2006|12:36am] i want to talk to josh so bad. Terry Elizabeth Feick-Foncher was arrested tonight 8:16 pm for credit card theft, and entering a vehicle. she lives about .3 miles away from josh's house. i'm working with police investigators in the morning and trying to get video tapes from walmart and get all of my things back and get his money back. i want to tell him, i want him to be happy. i want to get the money back in our account. i want us to be better. i want that, but at the same time, i have doubts that that will ever happen. i cried/prayed myself to sleep the night it happened. and i do believe it was fate that made me look at the docket books tonight with bob. I'm so grateful for what has happened today. except the fighting that josh and i have been going through. i wish he had his phone turned on so i could see him. after scott goes to bed, i'm going over there and leaving him a note on his car. i'm very disappointed in him for what he did today. and he's disappointed in me for what i did on new year's eve. he doesn't understand my feelings anymore, and he certainly doesn't respect them but i love him and i want to see him happy again not stressed out or upset with me. aaron, i don't want to say he's mad at me because of you, because I called you, you didn't call me. But he thinks that since i called you, that i'm going to cheat on him with you because of things from the past. which i deserve and is completely logical. i regret calling his work today, i was only trying to do what was right, not upset him. i want the best for him, the best for me, the best for us. but lately i feel like the best for me, isn't him. it was his responsibility to go to work, and he didn't. it was my responsibility to lock my car and i didn't. it is my fault his money is gone. his rent money. i'll probably spend alot of tonight praying that Mr. Sunshine, their landlord, understands the predicament josh and i are in right now. it's very hard not being able to run and tell him the things happening right now. but i have to be patient. i should have been patient on new year's and we wouldn't be in such pain towards each other. i made the mistake of taking that cigarette, and i made the mistake of calling aaron, and i made the mistake of cheating 7 months ago. i'm trying to make it up to him, but with out a car, or a phone. it's kind of hard. i haven't seen him since sunday, which is only two days. but we usually don't go without seeing eachother for more than a few hours. i wish our conversations consisted more of talking than fighting. i pray alot about myself. about my mistrust and my lies. why do people lie? why do people cheat? and steal? God is a mysterious creature, but he knows what's right for us. i have faith that everything will turn out well regarding all of this. this is my reppenting. no more stealing, no more lying, no more secrets. i love with all of my heart, and trust with all of my being. i will give josh my all. i will keep my temper down. and realize that what i have, isn't something to be taken for granted. despite the way he treats me. because he is also there for me, always,when i need him. most of the time anyway. i think he is falling out of love with me. or maybe i don't work hard enough to keep us happy. post comment

[02 Jan 2006|03:45pm] so new years was a fucking bust. josh and i fought all night about every possible thing. and then my purse which included: a 150$ dollar wallet, a mio polariod camera, a casio digital camera, my ipod, planner, sunglasses, prescription and so forth was stolen from my car. then my parents not only take away my keys, but my phone. then, who ever stole my wallet proceeded to spend 500$ out of josh and i's bank account. and then washington mutual will not replace the money until the transactions go through, and that will take at least 3 days, and then it will take 5 buisness days to file a report. and josh's rent is due tomorrow. so thank you, sincerely, to whoever went through my car and stole my purse. you pretty much took my life away from me in more than one way. not to mention a day or two before this happened, i rearended someone at the mall of georgia and the truck is pretty messed up. and my CAR is BROKEN. the breaks were rusted and the people we took the car to, broke the pads and the steering knuckle. thank you kauffman tires. don't ever take your car to them. so happy 2006 to me. because now josh hates my guts, my parents hate my guts and i hate whoever stole my shit. 2 comments|post comment

[27 Dec 2005|03:11pm] christmas was good. but i was extremely let down by a few things. i gave too much to someone who won't do anything for me... delete his myspace, pay his phone bill, or stop fucking around on me. it must be love because all i do is hurt. and he doesn't care. i know how meghan feels now. i hate finding stupid shit out like this. it makes me never want to answer the phone when he DOES call. which is never. post comment

[22 Dec 2005|12:16am] you get what you DESERVE. karma IS a bitch. and i deserve almost every ounce of what i'm getting. but when it goes THIS far...karma isn't the word for it and neither is deserving. this is cruel and you are selfish. i've paid my dues. i've done my repenting and my apologies. and this is what i'm left with my life is a complete mess. post comment

[14 Dec 2005|01:24pm] he tells me to stick up for myself to his friends... okay..well what about when i stick up for myself to HIM. then i become a "b-face" and psychotic. i'm not happy anymore. i hate telling myself that i love him and that i'm happy about our relationship. i'm convincing myself what to do. and i hate it. it isn't an emotional want anymore... it's physiological..he's been around so long, i don't know what to do with myself when he's not there. where are my friends? 1 comment|post comment

[15 Nov 2005|09:43pm] i hate feeling spied on. that's about the worst feeling in the world. aside from betrayed, i feel un trusted, not that you trusted me to begin with. this weekend my parents are going out of town from thursday until sunday. if my parents trust me, why can't you? i've betrayed them more than i've ever thought of betraying you. mom is getting me lots of yoga stuff for christmas, i'm excited about that. josh wants to get "us" a laptop for christmas, but i feel like he wants it more for himself than us. like his way of being able to see everything i do. but i don't know how i feel about it. i want a gift, one that means something not one that's just a give it to you so i can have it. because if he gets it for us, he will be able to keep it if we break up. i don't like her living with them. i don't trust her, and i don't trust him in the same room with her. not after everything, and he just doesn't understand that. i feel nostalgic about graduation. i don't have a group of friends that i will truely miss and want to see all the time. post comment

[15 Nov 2005|06:23pm] in a world of differences, we are all the same. we all live to die. post comment

[20 Oct 2005|09:58pm] you learn alot from hard relationships. ones you have to fight for. and hopefully everything you fought for will pan out and become amazing. the kind of amazing they make movies out of. but that's just a little girl's dream: meeting Mr. Right, and becoming Mrs. Right. You don't know what you've got until it's gone, or so they say, so who are we to decide who's to become Mr. and Mrs. Right? because if you're right for one person, wouldn't that make you wrong for someone else, since there are no two people alike? The smartest thing to do, it seems, is to stick up for yourself, and your actions, and become your own Mr. or Mrs. Right. post comment

[19 Oct 2005|09:47pm] i realize more and more everyday how much God is blessing me. it seems to me that people don't believe in Him for, well, no reason at all. Alot of atheists haven't ever even tried to "communicate" with him or give any sort of faith a chance. Once you try and everything gets better, you realize how ridiculous it is NOT to believe. Really, and truly it's given me more understanding and patience than i have ever had. it's nice knowing there's something there to give you hope and trust and guidance. i sent my application to state in. I really hope they accept me. But if they don't, i guess there is always the whole, transfer thing to look into. i feel underpar, like i haven't done enough with school, or activities. i'm always worried about going out and doing things. But the only club i've ever been in was french club. Band ruled my life and i gave it up, and i feel like those decisions will have a big effect on this whole school thing. i guess everything happens for a reason. things are so good right now, i'm looking forward to the job at origins. Hopefully everything will work out, and i won't be unemployed much longer. when one thing goes right in my life, everything else either falls into place, or is knocked out of place a little bit. but right now, things are falling into place. i'm excited for my future. 4 comments|post comment

[10 Oct 2005|10:27pm] i realized today how much growing up a person can do in a very short amount of time. i'm not jelous of girls for being prettier than me. i'm just as pretty or beautiful as they are, but i just have freckles. post comment

[27 Sep 2005|08:41pm] i'm getting tired of stealing things. 1 comment|post comment

[25 Sep 2005|10:37pm] thinking about myspace... what is the point in being friends with 500 people that you do not hang out with, or know? what are they going to do for you besides offer petty online condolences durring your rough times? spout out your name as a friend to someone while drunk at a party. i hate how life is a popularity contest. it's QUALITY not QUANTITY. i am proud to say i have only 5 best friends the people there for me through thick and thin, scandel and mischief, everything. then there are the people who care when they see me, but otherwise don't think twice about me. there's probably a hundred or so of them. then come the people i see on a regular basis(school) or know me but i don't know who they are. there are probably a thousand of them. but i have only 54 people on my friends list on myspace. what's the point in adding someone you will, most likely, never see or hang out with? there is only one person i know who actually gets out of his house and off of the computer and will make an effort to meet these people. i'm becoming extremely grateful for the things that are given to me. usually i throw things around like i don't care. but it seems like my life line is thin. and anything i do could break it. one wrong step and it's all gone. post comment

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